Your Family Isn’t In The Way…
I am unsurprised that when we closed the door to babies a few years ago, desires grew beyond my home responsibilities.
I was out of survival mode.
Keeping six young kids fed, rested, and safe was easily a full-time job and a couple of part-time jobs combined in harder seasons.
While life is still full, this is mostly my choice and no longer filled up with meeting the most basic survival needs.
Recently, God brought to mind this podcast interview I did with my friend Leah in September 2021 on “Missional Motherhood.”
This post has family pictures from that fall sprinkled throughout and those who know us in this season will see how the kids have changed.
Many things have changed for me too, in nearly three years:
In 2022, six months after my dad went to heaven, I went on a two-week ministry trip to Brazil with my husband.
In 2023, I started a master’s program in leadership and ministry and fell in love with seminary studies—which I will be doing for many more years at my one-course-a-term pace!
In the fall of 2023, I reinstated my teaching certificate to ‘guest’ (a new and nicer way of saying ‘substitute’) teach at an enrichment day our kids attend each week.
In a few months, here in 2024, I am excited to serve part-time as a homeschool facilitator.
This is a special season of life!
I’m not working because I need a job or studying because I have a specific ministry position in mind.
I am pursuing these opportunities because they are saving my life!
I feel it in my bones; God created me to read, write, reflect, and create, and I know he has given me a passion for encouraging others—especially homeschooling moms during this season.
Not to mention the things God is doing in our neighbourhood and church…
God is on the move!!!
I am reminded of a classic quote by Frederich Buechner:
“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet!”
While the good work God calls us to could be solely focused within the home, which was pretty much my focus for over a decade, I would guess that at some point, there will be work for us to put our hands and hearts to that moves beyond our homes.
Scripture shows how the Proverbs 31 woman models this ever-expanding use of her skills and resources.
Change is one of the keywords I use to define my motherhood journey.
While awkward and uncomfortable sometimes, it's ok to grow into the next chapter and version of you!
Maybe this is happening naturally; maybe you are floundering.
I have felt both ways.
I appreciate how “Place In This World,” the classic Michael W. Smith song that For King + Country revived for their new movie Unsung Hero reflects this struggle:
The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that's hopeful
A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like
I'm looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world
If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can You still hear me
Hear me asking
Where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?
Show me
Seeking vision and purpose is part of our journey with Christ.
Just a few days before my dad died, I took this sweet picture of him in his hospital bed to show him his wonderful beard.
He had never had a beard in my lifetime, but after losing all his hair to chemo drugs, it seemed his beard was making a big comeback.
We all approved of his new look.
My husband was coming to trim my dad’s beard the next night as he was going to be filmed sharing a short message for our church family.
His health was fragile from battling a rare blood cancer, and we weren’t sure if it would be possible for him to attend the Celebration of Ministry our church was putting on after his resignation from Lead Pastor.
Ironically, the day scheduled to be his Celebration of Ministry became his Celebration of Life.
This is but one of the plotlines in his story that makes me want to laugh and cry in the same breath…there are many…
We didn’t have much to talk about that night. I let him rest and felt a bit helpless.
We reviewed the talk I had typed up for him to share on video, and I asked him some personal questions.
The fragility of our time echoed as we sat in long stretches of silence, hearts breaking as the clock ticked away the minutes.
At one point, I mentioned that I wanted to start a master’s program at a seminary and was interested in training in leadership and ministry.
My dad graciously and affirmingly said, “You could do many things, Char.”
He also cautioned me that I was already doing the most important thing in raising our children and that these were key years when they would need me!
In many ways, he was saying what the Grandpa in the movie Unsung Hero says:
Many of you probably went to theatres to support this new movie around Mother’s Day.
My husband and I went on a Wednesday evening date. Early into the movie, I turned to look at him, wondering if I was having an extra emotional night. He also had tears, and I let mine flow freely as this touching movie pulled at my heartstrings, reminding me of my most important mission—motherhood.
While change is a constant in the journey of motherhood and life, some things will stay the same for a little longer:
I'm still sorting clothes and shoe bins,
Driving home larger-than-ever Costco orders,
Figuring out how to juggle the new balls in my life,
And massaging my littlest’s toes when he wakes up—unsure if it's physical pain or if it is more about being close and cuddling?
In this sweet spot between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I pray parents know their place in their children’s lives is just as important as their kids’ place in theirs.
As our kids show us the way back to God’s heart, He will help us find our place through each season of change.
They are the way!
Thanks for faithfully living this Dad (we miss you every day) and Mom—who inspired me with her own half-dozen babies!
Share your reflections in the comments below or on social media.
I love hearing from readers!
