4 Next Right Things In Crisis!
I usually select a word for the year, but this year I was led to this phrase:
Do the next right thing in love!
After reading Emily P. Freeman's book The Next Right Thing: A Simple, Soulful Practice for Making Life Decisions, and following her podcast for years, I decided to buy her guided journal for 2022. The premise is that we can reflect on the information we gather to inform and discern arrows for our daily decisions.
But little did I know this catchy phrase would become my lifeline this season!
January has been full of video calls, rapid tests, lifting my mom’s walker in and out of my van for her hospital visits with my dad, and racing out of the hospital parkade to get home too late after visiting my dad.
This is a couple of decades earlier than one would anticipate but it is an honor to care for my parents through their health struggles.
Thankfully, we’ve wrapped up diapers and strollers with our six kids, before navigating ostomy bags and walkers with my parents.
My Instagram gives more detail on the challenges my parents are facing…
Even if your year is beginning in bliss, with the wind at your back, at some point we all experience a season of struggle or crisis—let’s not mention two years of a pandemic!
I’m so grateful there were many helpful things already established in my life to guide me forward in this season.
As I reflect on these 4 next right things in crisis, consider how you can be prepared when trouble comes!
1) Familiar Systems
Over the last two months, I’ve been grateful for our simple daily rhythms and routines. I don’t need to use precious brain space to make decisions about meals, chores, schedules and laundry in the midst of so many other uncertainties.
These familiar systems have been tweaked and set on autopilot for many years. This also means that when we need to deviate, we can fall back on them as soon as possible!
My kids' daily rotations first thing in the morning and our Gather ‘Round units have been such a blessing, propelling us forward in homeschooling on even the craziest days. I’ll reflect more on this curriculum in an Instagram story soon!
In these emotional and uncertain times, it is extra important I continue my early morning routine of filling my soul and moving my body.
The Soul:
Currently, I am using the Bible Recap, a chronological Bible reading plan, and am enjoying the recap podcast each day! I keep a prayer and reflective journal and read through some books during this time as well. When reading through Job earlier this month I was struck by the verse:
“I know my redeemer lives.” Job 19:25a
Suffering can produce an even deeper knowing. I reflected on my time in Job in our TLT Facebook group.
The Body:
For exercise, I simply rotate between the elliptical and a free YouTube fitness video throughout the week. I’m enjoying MadFit right now.
These familiar systems and routines have anchored me in this storm.
2) Faithful Communities
Social activities have been limited for everyone over the last two years, with COVID-19, but ensuring I have in-person visits or video calls with friends has helped me process my heart throughout the pandemic and in this personally intense season.
I’ve invested in these deep relationships for years so, though I prefer to be on the giving side, I can trust my heart will receive grace and tender care when it is fragile.
My dad has encouraged us to continue reaching out and giving to others in this family health crisis. Pain sensitizes us to the needs of others and I’ve tried to respond with compassion and get out of my own grind for a time to bless others, whether it be sending a card, gift, meal, or encouraging media piece!
My church’s ladies group started back up after the holidays, alas, online, but that doesn’t make it less of a lifeline. We gather to refocus our souls and carry our burdens to Jesus each week!
Church has always been a top priority for our family, whether online or in person, and without this weekly reset, we’d be flailing. I took in two Sunday services from the hospital this last month: one while waiting for my dad's emergency surgery and a week later supporting him in his recovery. I even filled in on the worship team for the first time in over a decade. Both settings are equally worthwhile!
It is comforting to know we have support, not just across the city and globe, but steps away.
It has been such a gift to cultivate relationships with the neighbors in our cul-de-sac and I’ve been touched by how so many have checked in with me throughout this journey.
We were not made to go through life alone!
3) Firm Boundaries
It is so important we establish boundaries within a time of crisis.
I have not done any of these things perfectly but this particular area has been a big growth area!
I lean to ‘all’ or ‘nothing’ responses and there have been times of tension, as my husband reminds me I’ve been making decisions and plans without consulting him.
He’s also helped me to see I need time to disengage from the crisis.
Though this feels unnatural, it is necessary. We don’t know the length of this season and we need to stay fueled.
For example, I was one of the designated visitors for a ten-day stretch but stayed home halfway through for our weekly date night.
I’m also realizing not every communication pertaining to this difficult journey is urgent and I need to leave my phone in another room or turn off the sound (like I used to) to make space for my soul!
Next month we plan to spend some special time in the mountains as a family for my husband’s 40th birthday and take a sister trip (that has been rebooked three times already thanks to covid) if things are in a reasonable state for my parents.
At the start of this crisis, I backed down from extra commitments to make room for the barrage of communication, decision-making, driving, and unknowns, and two months later I’ve found this needs to continue. I was finally willing to release most of the work I do for our renovation business to our administrative assistant too, and this feels great!
Pacing for this journey comes through boundaries reinforced by the many systems and routines I mentioned earlier, and also by listening for the guidance of those who love us and responding with discernment.
4) Fierce Hope
On one of our daily family video calls a brother suggested our dad think of “one hopeful action” for his recovery. That mantra pairs well with “do the next right thing.”
They both accept we don’t know the big picture and can’t control the outcome, but we can take our next hope-filled step!
The book Fierce Hope: hope for the weary, disappointed, devastated, and indifferent, arrived in the mail from a thoughtful friend just before the weekend of my dad’s emergency surgery. I sat with my mom while my dad was in surgery and finished the book.
What I appreciated about Michelle Dwyer’s approach is the practical application at the end of each chapter that invites us to do the deep inner healing work that produces a life of hope. On page 41. Dwyer says:
“It will be messy, but it will be worth it. Your entire future will look different because you had the courage to pursue healing. Future generations of your family will be impacted because you thought freedom and health were worth fighting for.”
When this journey began for my dad at the end of November—with a diagnosis of Acute Myeloid Leukemia, on top of my mom's breast cancer journey and hip surgery delay—I knew I was entering uncharted territories and would need help processing my biggest struggles to date.
I set up an appointment with a Christian counselor and plan to do this monthly for a while.
Disease, trauma, and loss are heavy topics that require guidance and counsel.
By caring for my heart in this season my children are learning healthy responses in times of crisis!
Over the last two months, our kids have built an enormous snow cave in their recess times, along with the help of Benj on the weekends. I've marveled at their playfulness each time I look out the windows while washing lunch dishes.
This weekend the eight of us squeezed in together, our escape from all troubles beyond those icy walls. It was wet and delightful.
Part of hoping is allowing humor, beauty, comfort, and wonder to guide us through the tunnel of a crisis.
But more than anything, we need the Light of Jesus!
HE is my strength in weakness…
HE holds me when I cry and ask why…
HE stirs up faith, to believe in miracles and embrace new mercies...
If you want to do one thing right now to prepare for hard times:
Ensure Jesus is your next right thing!
What are some of your next right things in seasons of crisis?
Do you have a word or phrase for 2022?
I would love to hear your reflections in the comments…
