Our sixth baby arrived in the fall of 2018 when our oldest was eight and just three weeks later, we came across a house with some key elements we were looking for in our next home!

This ushered us into a complete home renovation project for the next six months. Last spring, just weeks after moving into our beautifully renovated spaces, we went camping.

There was so much to be grateful for but I was burned out from the last season.

After our trip, we started the process of unloading our travel trailer, and I ran wild throwing kids in the bath, starting the laundry, ordering the dishwasher cleared, plants watered, grass cut, van vacuumed, and everything put away NOW—anything to help me feel a sense of control after a season of change!

My inner baggage busted out with each new item thrown into the house. I was a mess; rather than accepting where my mind, body, and soul were, and taking a pause, I kept pushing.

The pushing will break you if you don’t take the break!

Each task heightened my sense of urgency, and I started feeling angry and fearful as I realized I couldn’t manage all the systems or reach all my expectations—nor could anyone else. I was damaging the hearts around me because of my heart attack.

Feelings of failure and despair lingered after this episode—which was the catalyst for me to do some deep heart work…again!

This may sound dramatic to the readers who haven’t been here, but for the rest of us, these places of breaking or undoing come more than we like to admit and are where healing continues.

I attended a bridal shower recently where we were reminded of the verse:

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”
Proverbs 14:1 NLT

My tearing down revealed a new layer of healing needs.

As we uncover the “stories in our heads,” as Brene Brown says, we can go further than just replacing lies with the truth; we can take our broken or wounded hearts to Jesus. He can reveal the root issues behind the triggers or pain points.

Like a kind doctor, Jesus assesses the symptoms and gently performs heart surgery!

The Holy Spirit spoke two words during that season:

In time!

While there was more inner healing ahead, those words reminded me to make space and slow down when I felt the need to start controlling my environment or the people closest to me—a reminder to bring my flailing heart in for a check-up or repair.

It may be a verse, word, picture, song, or image that leaves a lasting impression on our souls, and we can carry this with us as we continue on the less-travelled road of inner healing.

Praying with a spouse, friend, mentor, pastor, or counsellor can bring beautiful healing. Community is Christ’s nail-scarred hands touching our wounded hearts! Some may receive a quick and clean heart transplant, but it is often a slow rebuilding for others. Strengthening. Beautifying. Transforming. Restoring. One day at a time!

As Jesus writes in time over my expectations, hopes and dreams the striving and fear is covered by grace.

Many of us have weathered this global storm by anchoring ourselves to the Bible for words of wisdom and hope. In March, I began reading through the Psalms and Proverbs; finally, I came to one of my favourite passages in Ecclesiastes 3.

There is hope that God is making all things beautiful in His time!

Some are waiting for a plus sign, apology, debt repayment, proposal, promotion (fill in the blank) and I pray these longings are fulfilled—in time!

As we offer our wounds into the healer’s hands, our sacred scars will be gifts for others to heal too—in time!

Let’s continue taking care of our hearts.

Our friends and family will thank us!

If you would like prayer or supportive resources I invite you to connect.

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